Supernova Earth

DIY Microphones

If you want a really cheap, great sounding microphone, the technology is simple, if slightly ugly.

Buy a cheapass microphone from a radio shack or some other place. All you will need is one that can plug into the soundcard of your computer (1/8th inch jack). This should be a lapel mic (that is, one you stick on your shirt) that is circular (not a tiny little mic, but one that is roughly the same circumfrence as a toilet paper tube). They are often sold as a generic computer mic.

Get the most updated drivers for your soundcard. You can discover what soundcard your computer runs by clicking Start/Control Panel/Sounds and Audio Devices. Then click on the “Hardware” tab, and look for the first little speaker symbol. That should be the name of your soundcard. Then type that into Google, surrounded by quotes and write “driver” afterwards It should bring up the manufacturer’s site, and you can follow the instructions from there. The newest drivers are important because they may have new features like a built in EQ and microphone features.

Take a standard toiletpaper tube and cut a little slit longways into one of the ends. (Just trust me).

Cut a thin square of cotton cloth and use it to cover the mic. Nylons, if you like to wear them but can sacrifice one, can also be used. This is used to dampen the “pops” and the “sssssss’ses” that you get when you speak directly into the mic. Alternately you can put the mic a little further back into the toiletpaper tube and use the cloth to cover the open end all together. But this is harder to engineer and may require a bit of fadubberation (I’ll explain this if you email me) to get this to work right. It’s just easier to cover and tape down the cloth over the front of the mic with some ducttape.

Slide the Lapel mic into the modified Toiletpaper tube with the cord sticking out the slit. This is actual form of the mic and this is important.

Put two thin strips of ducttape over the front of the toiletpaper tube to keep the microphone from coming out of the tube. The opening in the lapel mic should NOT be taped over, as this is what you speak into… (I know some idiot will do this and then complain, so I felt it needed to be said).

Take some heavy cloth and fill up the backside of the tube. This should be good quality cloth of a fairly heavy variety that you won’t mind never seeing again. Part of an old pajama bottom served me well. The back of the tube should be packed fairly tight. It is this step that cleans up the sound of these mics. If you push on the cloth and there is no give (because the mic in front is pressed up against the ducttape in front) you have enough cloth in there. If your finger goes in the tube a significant, noticable distance, you need more cloth.

Ducttape the hell out of the back. You can put as much of it on there, but you know you have enough when you are listening to your mic on some earphones and you tap on the back of the mic and you hear some heavy thumps.

Now ducttape the hell out of the rest of the tube. This will dampen the sound of your fingers scratching on the rough toilet paper tube (your mic will pick this up too). While you’re taping the tube, remember to tape the cord of the the microphone to the tube itself. It helps you identify the up side of the microphone, and it keeps the mic from getting ripped out of the rig.

Once your tube is a solid color of ducttape grey, you have yourself an excellent uni-directional, clean sounding microphone that cost you practically nothing to acquire. It requires simple mechanics to get one of these things together. You don’t have to know anything about sound mixing on a board. You don’t have to mess with a bunch of cords for hours to find out which jack is messed up. You don’t have to have any more money than like 20 bucks or whatever the mic and the ducttape and the roll of toilet paper cost you. And your mic sounds just as good as any mic belonging to those people who maxed out their credit cards buying sound technology.

My mic was created in this fashion. It took me about 15 minutes to make my own mic, and if you want an example of how it sounds check out my show, because I record everything on this mic.

Love Doc,
Dedicated to putting internet broadcasting technology into the hands of the poor, and stealing it away from the middle class.